( mwahahahaha i hate twilight, in a delightfully i-love-this-crap way. but i ship it! )

now. onto the real business.

i want seamus smut.

dirty, filthy, thinly-plotted-or-totally-plotless, kinky, nasty-talking, gross-your-poor-mother-out, sweaty het or slash or three or four or more porn. with lots of biting and scratching and licking and come and spit and take-it-bitch.

and i want it now.

top!seamus is a plus.

suggestions?

*blushes and slinks away* that is all.


ETA: prongsxwormtail was unable to locate anything to fulfill my seamus-yen, and so she wrote me A Lesson Learned. and managed to hit on my #1 seamus kink, which is totally saymyname!seamus, hahaha... and i didn't even tell her about it.

ahem. not that this absolves you of your duties to locate me seamus-smut. so go forth.

Title: Sharp
Pairing: Bella/Percy
Prompt: piercing
Words: 499
Rating: hard R
Warnings: Darkness. Dubcon... well, basically noncon. Very mild knifeplay. A tiny drop of blood.
Notes: This was written for this week's challenge at sortinghatdrabs, which was Percy/Death Eater. Seriously, I could've expanded this to like, 2000 words... I had a ridiculous amount of fun with it. So go over and look at the drabbles; they're all amazing!

( Sharp )

pardon me, but you need to stop everything and go read Weapon of Mass Destruction by tania_sings.

now.

*snickers*

it's seamus/voldie. and seamus never bottoms.

*pokes* go on, now. you'll laugh your ladyparts off.

pssst.... seraphimerising is a goddess and chose percy for sortinghatdrabs this week. so go read! & vote, if you want. they're all freakin' awesome.

♥ percy

Title: Prayer
Prompt: reluctant
Weasley Character/Pairing: Charlie/Seamus
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language. Sexuality. Playing fast-and-loose with prompt interpretation. Blasphemy?
Notes: This was written for weasley_100

( Prayer )

oh, hello lightning bolt of inspiration for wizard_love; how nice to see you! and you showed up just in time, too!

*hopes this particular lightning bolt didn't strike too far off the mark for her recipient*

i've decided what i'm going to do with my hpvalensmut deal, too. i was going to go into this intricate plotty-ish thing (plotty-ish for me, anyway), but then i re-checked who my recipient was, and i decided just to go with my original, ages-old thought. she'll appreciate it. and i can probably get most of it done tonight! that would be amazing.

i think i must be pms-ing. all of these ideas are swirling around in my head. i better take advantage of it while i've got it!

hahaha. life makes me laugh. i got a random comment today on code on aff.net, and all it said was "you filthy, brilliant thing, you." and i laughed. hard.

if i can be nothing else in life, i will settle for being filthy and brilliant. i might even settle for just filthy, as my brilliance is highly questionable ;)

in other news, deatheaterfest assignments should be out soon. thilia is beta-ing my assignment list & fixing my fuckups, so if you signed up, you should have an email soon.

uhm... what else?

that's all, folks.

tania_sings tagged me, and so i'm totally loving this excuse to be a drooly fangirl.

1) List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
2) Put all of them IN ORDER of your lust for them [5 - 1, 1 is the hottest].
3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
4) Supply photos for said people.
5) Tag five friends to do the same: whoever wants to, go ahead!

so, i didn't really put them in any order. they're all equally bang-able. ha. my bad.

( i'd hit that. )

because snarkyscorp is a gorgeous little thing and is writing me a christmas present drabble (♥♥♥), i figured i owed at least her something in return for her sweetness.

but i'll open it up to anybody who's feeling it :D

it won't be advent-calendar-style, haha, but if you leave me a character/pairing/threesome & a lil prompt here, i'll try to whip you up a present for whatever holiday (or nonholiday) it is that you celebrate next month ;D

what can i say? she inspired the giving spirit.

Title: Shadow/Light
Pairing: Harry/Scorpius
Prompt: Hay en mi corazón furias y penas (In my heart there are furies and sorrows)... -- Quevedo
Words: 389
Rating: R
Warnings: Cross-gen smexing; a naughty word.
Notes: This was written for sortinghatdrabs this week. I'm not usually a fan of cross-gen (with the exception of Draco/Bella or Harry/Sirius) or next-gen, but I thought I'd take a stab at it.

( Shadow/Light )

i've started hpvalensmut, and i am so excited! my assignment is fan-fucking-tastic, and even though i don't have all of the details worked out, i'm writing anyway. i've had the opening scene in my head for months, probably, and i waited to write it as a reward for finishing hp_yule_balls.

i only got a couple hundred words, but i'm not in any rush, and i'm loving it so far. i'll see where it takes me. sometimes, that ends up working better for me than having everything planned ahead of time.

< / squee >

Title: In the Kitchen
Prompt: experiment
Weasley Character/Pairing: Percy/Audrey
Rating: G
Notes/Warnings: Fluffy domesticity. This was written for weasley_100.

( In the Kitchen )

jaysus fucking christ.

i've finally finished my hp_yule_balls piece. it is by no means a work of literary genius, nor even my best work to date (i think both my ficadron and hp_cestfest bits were better, honestly), but at this point, i'm just relieved to have it done and in beta (but a mite scared of what my beta will find, as it's been a long, hard road.) but i don't doubt that she will make it at least passable, and i have a few days to polish it up. who knows? i may have something i don't want to tear to shreds by the end of it!

in other news, my parents' divorce was finalized today. my mother called me and told me that she has her engagement and wedding bands for me when i see her. she's giving them to me, and i really have no idea what to do with them. i asked her if she would wear the diamond if i had it reset into a necklace for her, but she told me that she wouldn't. i'm not sure what to do with them. i'd hate to see them sit and languish as an unhappy reminder in my home (especially because the diamond is gorgeous), but i'm also not sure what's appropriate/not appropriate to do with them. i'm thinking the best thing would be to have the diamond reset into something... but what? i don't want to give it to my partner, because, well, it's a symbol of a failed relationship... and i'm not really a jewelry person... blah. anybody have any thoughts?

Title: Trouble
Prompt: trouble
Weasley Character/Pairing: Arthur, Molly, Percy
Rating: G
Notes/Warnings: This was written for weasley_100

( Trouble )

EXCUSE ME.

do i have your attention? excellent.

thilia drew percy/ginny.

yes, you heard me. the goddess of sexy-smutty-hp-art drew percy/ginny. (i think she's trying to kill me. oh, well. she's too late. i'm already dead from her theo/luna.)

and it is gorgeous. her percy is vulnerable and sexy and masculine all at the same time, and her ginny is just deliciously lovely.... and their pose! omg, their pose just captures their entire relationship so perfectly, and.... guhhhhhh.

(actually, while you're at it, look at this week's hump_day_smut, because the prompt was percy. and while there are only two submissions (one of them being thilia's), the other is so worth a look. um, well-endowed!percy? thankyouverymuch, i'd like fries with that.)

Title: Games Girls Play
Pairing: Ginny/Tonks
Prompt: red-faced smile
Words: 442
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Giggling, silliness, butterbeer, a wizarding take on a goofy game, and some implied femmeslash. Also, Ginny is rather underage here... though that's just suggested, I suppose.
Notes: This was written for sortinghatdrabs this week. My first stab at femmeslash, haha. I wonder why I don't write more femmeslash? I obviously, er, like it, as my partner is a woman. Maybe because hey... I'm living the dream. Ha!

( Games Girls Play )

i have come up short with hp_yule_balls again.

i was humming along happily until i hit 2500 words (and the pivotal plot moment), and now i'm up against a wall... and not in a pleasant, percy's-going-to-come-along-and-wall!sex-me way, either.

*tosses teacup against the wall*

well. that didn't help.


(okay, the teacup-tossing didn't help, but prongsxwormtail  did.  she is a goddess, and we have hashed out something workable.  oh, sweet jesus, i just want to be done with this accursed thing.  it has been the bane of my existence!  and now there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  halle-fuckin-lujah!)


______________________

ps: lucianwolf - i knew it was you making me all wide-eyed and drool-y with The Nature of Pranksters! holy shit, woman! do you have any idea how many times i went back to reread that? it's a masterpiece. truly. gah! i'm going back over there and reading it again, and then i'm going to need a moment to myself.

(and if you haven't read it yet, what the fuck are you waiting for? fred/george/harry, a bit of violent!sex, some extremely well-done dubcon, and an uncomfortable degree of hotness. and probably the best version of twisted!twins out there. nnnnngggggghhhhh.)

Title: Percy Weasley and the Thirteenth N.E.W.T.
Prompt: Trouble
Characters/Pairing: Percy/Penelope
Rating: PG-13/soft R
Notes/Warnings: Naughtiness. Originally written for weasley_100


( Percy Weasley and the Thirteenth N.E.W.T. )

♥♥♥


SIGN UPS ARE OPEN! WE WANT AUTHORS, ARTISTS, CHEERLEADERS, AND BETAS. SO DO IT!

so, there is not nearly enough percy love in fandom. really, there isn't. trust me.

the man needs a big bang. (and by big bang, i don't mean group sex... though he could use some of that, as well.)

i may be crazy enough to take this on, if there is anybody willing to help me out.

so... are you?